Family N WORK

 I am someone who will always focus on my work. My working time is a bit flexible.


My family will everyday keep calling me every single day even during a period of 9-5 ( normal working hour). And most of the time I will say I am busy. I am working. Even at that time, I am not really busy, I will still say I am busy. It is because once I ve turn on mood of working, my brain will be directed to it.


However, I realized I am not supposed to do so. Everytime I turn off the call down, I am pretty sure, my family like will be hampered by me. Most of the time, they only call just to check me out. Only 5-10 minutes. They will ask what I am doing, have I eat or not, am I busy, where I am.. That kind of small stuff. Recently, I always turn down the call n sometimes can get grumpy too. Yet, they never tired n not be offended by me 😢. I just realized how selfish I am. Turning down the call from the beloved people to me. The right person who are always there for me. Especially my mama. How selfish I am.



And I just realise, actually it's not that we dont have time / we are busy. We just decided not to have time. Either we aware or not, we actually decided not to give time. They just wanted to share some stuff, story and check me out and wanna make sure I am fine.  we could never turn back time. Appreciate every moment that we have even only via online. I will not turn down my family call anymore, at least I will turn it down softly, gently, n tell them nicely. Not to be arrogant and mentioning I am busy. Because normally we only have time chit chatting only at night time, after I come back from work. But, I am not supposed to wait at night time. Durind day time, they are doing a lot of things, n of course a lot to be shared too.


Just imagine, Tofay we have a wedding celebration of my cousin, many relatives comes. Mama chat me said 

Mama : "what r u doin" 

Me : work. Why MA? 

Mama : nothing. I am at ur cousin house. 

Me : ok wait. I am buying some food by the way. 

5 min later, I video  call her. Oh, she show me our grandmother aunty. ( sister in law of my late grandmother which I consider age 80++). I am someone who are esy got along with old people. Including this aunty. So long I've never seen her n talk to her. So I chit chat with her for a while. 


Just imagine, what if I turn down the call n never call back? I ll miss all those moment. 



Relationship is important to me. Regardless whoever they are. Ties is the most important above all.


Currently, I just miss home so badly. Miss mama so bad. 😔. 



Sometimes I am not even sure what I am looking for. I hope I am at home, but at the moment I am not sure,, May Allah open my heart and make me strong to do the right things. 

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